Things I Know About Star Trek That I Shouldn't

1. The name of Spock's mother is Amanda.
2. Kirk's middle name is Tiberius.
3. The phrase, "Beam me up, Scotty" was never uttered on a Star Trek episode.
4. Spock, hung-over from Romulan Ale, once tried to mind-meld with a toilet bowl.
5. Kirk cross-stitches in his spare time.
6. Chekov was once suspended by Starfleet for his ideas on wealth distribution and the benefits of a police state.
7. Sulu likes other guys.
8. Data secretly hypnotized the Enterpise-D crew early in season 1 of The Next Generation to make them all believe it would be a good idea to have an android in a leadership position even though he will get them in more trouble than he'll ever get them out of.
9. Time is malleable, depending on the circumstances.
10. Scotty enjoys haggis, but his favorite dish is macaroni and cheese with wieners cut up in it.
11. The original Enterprise was made out of spare Volkswagen parts.
12. Spock has died twice: The first time was after radiation poisoning while repairing the Enterprise; the second was in a comedy club outside of Denver.
13. When making love, Kirk talks in the first person.
14. Jean-Luc Picard once made a porno in the holodeck.
15. Bones puts up a facade of gruffness so that no one will know he is crying on the inside.
16. Spock first wrote off his human side after watching Uhura's collection of "Diff'rent Strokes" episodes.
17. Kirk sometimes pretends a stuffed bear is writing his Captain's Log.
18. Bones is a television historian and doesn't know how the early twenty-first century survived the switch to "Goddamned Digital."
19. William Riker feels that the previous generation was the better, more entertaining and less derivative generation.
20. Before the Eugenics War, Khan spent his downtime tuning up his Harley Davidson.