Why Does Babe Want to Kill Us?

That pig's got a lot of explaining to do.

A New Post From Li'l Red

Hi. I'm Li'l Red Auerbach. You wouldn't know me unless you've read this blog for a while. Garry let me write a little bit one day. You can read that post here, but it's not worth all that much.

I'm writing now because Garry doesn't seem too interested in blogging these days, and since I'm a much better writer than I used to be, I figured I might as well give it a go. Garry has all these writing books laying around, but he never reads them. I went through some of them a while back, and I can see why he rarely picks them up. But I did manage to pick a few things up here and there. I hope I write well enough for you to demand more.

I think Garry likes the blog, but he just seems distracted lately. I don't know why. He says it's because he's busy, but I never see him doing much. I think he's sad. He misses his girlfriend, or misses having a girlfriend. She broke up with him. I would say "dumped" him, but she was really quite nice about it. It was sort of a time-release break-up which occurred over the space of three months.

Wait, can you write "I would say"? when you are writing it. I wouldn't say anything. I would write it, right? But writing "write" just sounds weird. Or looks weird. I don't know anymore. There's nothing in the books about this.

I think Garry just needs to get laid. Or get drunk. Or both. Maybe one can precede the other. He's got a fridge full of beer, but he never drinks it. Not so much with the women though. If I said he had a fridge full of women you'd think he was a serial killer.

I'm not sure where a 36 year old even finds women these days, especially for someone who's so insecure. And how does a guy like Garry find someone else like his ex-girlfriend. I've met her. She's pretty. And funny. And smart. I liked her.

Anyway, I'm here on the internet and all I can write about is Garry. That kind of sucks, doesn't it? But I'm observing, right? I'm establishing Garry as a character, fabricating a personality for him out of snippets of facts. That's good for a writer.

A Crown for Every King

The last month I've been having moderate to severe dental problems. Most of it stems from a cracked tooth and a crown that has caused me pain to no end.

First, I had just a temporary crown. The temporary hurt pretty bad, so I went back to get it fixed. That hurt too, so I went back again. In the midst of all this, I chipped a tooth that had nothing to do with the crowned tooth.

Then, I got the permanent, and today I'm going back to get it filed down a little bit. All told, I've been to the dentist 7 times in the last month. Needless to say my phobia of dentists has subsided.

If pain continues, I'll most likely have to have a root canal. I don't like the sound of that, but at least my insurance covers it.

Other than the dentist thing, I've been pretty busy at work and writing stories and such. Not much time to blog these days, but I'm making time. Dammit, you all deserve it.